The last few months since I move to Amsterdam was very intense for me, beside all the regular things of Moving to a new country & culture. I also experience a crazy shift between cultures, moving from small and sustainable community in Peru to the flat land of opportunity in Europe finding myself facing with lots of new challenges opportunities and fears
Being here feels that everything is happing all the time but nothing is real, it’s a sensation, a feeling of a shift between two cultures, so different so far from each other, but still dependent on each other more than they can imagine. Slowly, I can see how the “unreal” became a reality for me, slowly observe how the “real” is a choice that each of us can do, eventually we are the chooser between one reality to anther by being present with our own need and the community around us.
When I’m observing “my realty” since I moved to Amsterdam and join “Knowmads”, there is one question that keeps bothering me, this question is all around me, she can make me feel so empty when I try to answer her or make me smile when I thinks I found an answer even if it’s for 5 minutes. The question is “What is your dream?” and boom my heart and my stomach holding me from answering , I’m feeling frozen, like my body doesn’t want to address to question and my mind is waiting to jump in this sea of opportunities.
So I decided no more! And here some explain why:
Usually when I have this feeling in my stomach there are three different reactions, the first; I’m trying to stay away, looking for a nice & a cozy cave to hide. Second; I’m starting To question myself about my dream, what I want in life? Blah blah Blah, then my mind getting crazy and I need to rest. The third is my favorite approach; determine that all the other approach is basically bullshit and this question is an anther trick to make us think that we don’t good enough or if to be more specific the question is: what is your dream? It’s feel to me like another wall between being present in our body or living in the future, with a dream’s and hope, while life is happing now. Can we dream about the now?
So again I read my last words, feeling a bit anger inside of me, try to transform this feeling into Compassion, understanding that as long this question is helping people Feeling happy and finding joy so I guess it’s their problem not mine 🙂